"it’s just the beginning…"

the other day, i drafted a post to share my new song with the caption, “this is just the beginning.”

then as quickly as i wrote it, i deleted it.

a voice in my head chimed in: “you’ve been saying ‘this is just the beginning’ for over a decade… maybe you just don’t want to face the fact that it might not be the beginning anymore.”

i let that linger for a minute, then, i took a deep breath and moved on.

i spent the rest of that day doing what i always do: creating.

i worked on the first designs for my upcoming clothing line, started building a publishing catalog for the first time, read a new book about music marketing, got on calls with new industry contacts i never could’ve dreamed of speaking to when i started out, and wrote a new song that doesn’t sound like anything i’ve ever done.

that night, i went to bed after 16 straight hours of work. and, like what seems like every other night lately, I spent another four hours lying awake, thinking about everything i couldn’t wait to start tomorrow.

somewhere in the haze, i had a realization: fuck anyone and everyone, including myself - who tries to define what stage of life this is. that’s just, like, your opinion, man. *big lebowski voice.*

that night, i decided to start this blog. another new beginning.

and i hope 10 years from now, it’s still the beginning. a lot of bullshit comes with being an artist; the uncertainty, the alienation, the endless work - but the pay off is that every day, we get to live in a world of new beginnings.

i sacrificed a stable career for this life, and the uncertainty is crippling sometimes. but it’s also beautiful. and if i don’t take the time to share that beauty, i’m robbing myself of the whole reason i’m here.

welcome to the beginning. i’ll see you at the next one 🫡